


Safe Space

by CleverPudding (TheSmellOfSunscreen)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Ben fucked up and he knows it, Crait (Star Wars), Everyone is tired, F/M, Force Bond, Force Tinder, Like RIGHT AFTER TLJ, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Post TLJ, Post The Last Jedi, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tender Ben, The First Order, Tired Rey, sucks, the resistance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 04:05:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14417313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSmellOfSunscreen/pseuds/CleverPudding
Summary: Immediately following the events on Crait, an exhausted Rey tries to find a quiet place to sleep on the crowded Millenium Falcon.





	Safe Space

It’s only been a day since the battle of Crait. Rey and the Resistance, what’s left of it at least, are all still squeezed into the less than glamorous confines of the Falcon while they search for safe harbour. And while the Millennium Falcon is a freighter, it's a light freighter, and things are tight.

In the hours after their escape the exhausted resistance members had fallen asleep where they could. Finding that any relatively flat surface made an acceptable bed, with the few actual bunks going to those who were injured or recovering. Rey had to step over more than a few sleeping bodies on her way from the cockpit to the lounge. Finn was asleep, his hand still clutching the fingers of an unconscious Rose, his head pillowed on his arms against the side of her bunk. Even more people were sleeping propped against the walls or pressed against their comrades on the floor.

Rey was looking for Leia, and found her seated on an upturned container in the engineering station, holding a whispered conversation with Poe and Commander D’Acy. They didn’t notice Rey where she stood next to the wall, and she could hear them discussing their next move, whether it was worth the risk to try for sanctuary on Naboo. Leia's face tightened at the mention of her ancestral home, and Rey decided that she didn’t want to interrupt them. Poe could answer Chewies question when he went back to the cockpit. 

Rey swayed on her feet, a wave of sudden exhaustion washing over her, and she slumped against the bulkhead catching herself. The whispers stopped as Poe jumped up, reaching Rey just as she righted herself.

“Sorry,” she said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt you...”

Poe’s hand was on her shoulder as he peered into her face and asked, “You’re fading fast kid, have you slept at all?”

Rey had managed a few catnaps in the copilot's seat- Poe cut her thought off, “and not just a nap in the cockpit,” he said.

Rey started, looking from Poe to Leia and D’Acy “I... No, I gave Chewie the first break. He’s just come back and wanted to know what our next move is. It’s why I was looking for you General.”

Leia rose slowly, leaning on D'Acy's offered arm, “Poe, relieve her this moment. Rey, I’m sorry I’ve been monopolizing him, we’ve got enough pilots, you go get some rest.”

Rey tried to protest, but between Leia's heavy gaze and Poe’s hand weighing on her shoulder, it was all she could do to keep on her feet, “I... I’ll just...Chewie and-”

“I’ve got it handled,” Poe said, his hand steering her back toward the lounge. “Leia’s right, I should have come to relieve you hours ago.” They were back in the lounge and seeing the sleepers, Poe patted Rey’s shoulder and began picking his way through the slumbering bodies, heading for the cockpit. 

Rey stood for a moment, staring at the people sprawled around her. She knew she'd never be able to find a spot in here or even the cargo hold, which was the biggest area on the ship and undoubtedly paved in sleeping resistance fighters. Rey was also unused to sleeping around other people. Her nights on Jakku had been quiet and solitary. Even during her time with Luke on Ahch-To had seen her alone and undisturbed at night. Trying to sleep with so many others around her, breathing & sniffling, shifting, snoring... No, Rey was better off trying to find some ignored alcove or hidey hole, no matter how uncomfortable it might seem.

She tiptoed toward the galley, stopping in the equipment storage area to see if see could find anything to use for bedding. The Falcons life support systems kept the ship comfortable, but sleep makes you want cover, and space is cold. Digging through a few lockers, Rey comes across an old cold weather coat, faded navy blue with a fur trimmed hood, and a blanket of sorts. It's the same kind used to cushion fragile cargo, but this one is clean and soft from many washings and a bit frayed at the edges. Gathering her finds, Rey turns in a circle trying to think of a spot to crash in, when her eyes land on a panel in the bulkhead with MAINTENANCE CRAWLWAY stamped on it in faded, scratched letters.

Crouching down, Rey sees that the panel comes about halfway up the wall and that there is a release lever flush with the adjoining panel. She pushes the lever and the panel/door, swings out, revealing an access way about two and a half feet wide and 3 and a half feet tall, extending toward the forward end of the Falcon. Dim yellow safety lights flicker on, revealing wiring and circuitry panels, and it looks perfect to Rey.

Pushing the bundle ahead of herself, Rey crawls inside, her knees protesting against the plasalloy grating beneath them. As she pulls the panel closed behind herself, Rey surveys the narrow space; the low, golden safety lights illuminate the crawlspace and an abandoned toolkit leans against the far wall, about 10 feet in front of her, definitely long enough for her to stretch out in and grab some sleep. Unrolling her bundle of makeshift bedding, Rey spreads the coat out underneath herself, hoping that its bulk will give her some padding from the unforgiving floor, and lays down, pulling the frayed blanket around herself.

Finally allowing herself to relax, Rey closes her eyes and slows her breathing, and waits for sleep and exhaustion to take her.  
And waits... And waits...  
Huffing out a breath, Rey rolls to her side trying to get comfortable. Her eyes land on the scuffed plasteel wall and are drawn up to some scribbled equations and markings. ‘Someone must have done those while working on a repair,’ she thinks. And now that her eyes have adjusted to the dim lighting, she can see scribbles all over the wall. More equations, repair notes, dates and coordinates, diagrams, and what look like drawings? Under a half scrawled coordinate she can make out a simple drawing of what has to be Chewbacca, and next to that a tall-ish figure and a child sized figure. Rey’s breath catches in her chest as she realizes what she’s looking at. 

Craning her neck, she can make out more of the drawings along the wall, trees around a circle with squiggly lines in it, a female figure in a large skirt with lumps on the sides of her head, the Falcon, two figures facing with arms outstretched holding lightsabers. “I guess I’m not the only one to hide out in here,” Rey whispers to herself, reaching out a finger to trace over a small figure.

Sighing, Rey rolls to her other side pillowing her head on her bent arm, determined to find sleep despite the tangled thoughts roiling in her mind. She begins breathing deep, the way she does to center herself for meditation, hoping that it will help calm her mind and bring on sleep. 

It’s then that she feels the stillness. One moment she’s releasing a deep breath and hearing the small sounds of the Falcon, and then... The quieting of the universe around her as the Force opens the bond.

She can feel his consciousness, feel him looking at her. Rey clamps her eyes shut, not ready to face him yet. 

To see if it’s Ben looking back at her.

Or Kylo Ren. 

“Rey.” He breathes. His voice is strained and her ears can’t help but hear the pain in it. “Please...I can’t...” He trails off.

Slowly, Rey opens her eyes, looking toward her feet where he is seated, legs crossed in meditation. His eyes are closed now, his hands in fists on his knees, his face contorted into pained concentration. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” he says, “I’m trying...”

Rey gently sits up, still clutching the blanket around herself, mirroring his pose with crossed legs. He can hear her shifting, his chin lifts and follows her movement, but he keeps his eyes closed.  
Taking a deep breath, he begins again, “Rey, I’m sorry.” He works his upper lip, chewing on his words before letting them out, “I asked too much of you. And I... I’ve been cut adrift. After I killed Snoke I- That’s the first time I’ve been alone in my own head in I don’t know how long. ” His words come faster now, tripping over his lips in their rush to escape. “All I’ve known is what he put in my head. The power! The anger and fear! And the first free thought I had scared me so much that I fell right back on his training. His way of thinking. I tried to sway you the same way he swayed me, with anger and rage and fear and- And I...I'm sorry.” His storm of words trails off. Deflating, he takes in another breath, calmer he says “This isn’t how things were supposed to happen. That wasn’t how things were supposed happen... I knew I needed to kill Snoke, but after that I had no clear plan. Without Snoke the First Order will fail. I knew that... I know that.” He pauses, shifting, face lifting from where he had dropped it against his chest, the tightness around his eyes eased, but they remained closed.

Rey can feel the pain and confusion in him, his force signature clouded with emotion.

“I’ve been trying to reach out to you, since Crait. I need to make you understand.” He pauses, taking a breath, “I meant what I said, about letting the past die, about bringing a new order to the galaxy...together.” Rey stiffens, pain at the memory of his words tightening in her chest. He must be feeling her emotions too, or she had made some tiny sound, because he reaches a hand, palm up, beseeching toward her. “I don’t mean-”He cuts himself off with a frustrated puff of air. He pulls his hand back, making a fist again. After a few deep breaths he smooths his hand back out over his knee, searching for calm. “Rey, things can’t go on as they are. They can’t go back to how they were either. The First Order. The Republic. I don’t know what our place in all of this will be but I know this, I can’t stop thinking about you. I have no plan on what to do next. I only know that without you I will fail.” His body slouches, his head drops again and he says quietly, “the First Order will fall, I’ll make sure of that at least.”

Rey, silent tears brimming on her lashes, blinks them away and takes in a shuddering breath. Reaching out a tentative hand she places her fingertips on his chin. Lifting his face, she slides her palm along his cheek. With his eyes still closed, he leans just the slightest bit into her touch.

Breathless, Rey speaks, ‘Ben?” Slowly, he looks up, searching her face. And it is Ben looking back at her. No trace of Kylo Ren remains in his eyes.

Slowly, his hand comes up to cup hers against his face, “Rey,” he breathes. His eyes clear and starved for the sight of her, rove over her form, an eyebrow lifting in puzzlement, “Is that my blankie?”

**Author's Note:**

> First off thanks for reading! This is my first fic in a long, LONG time, and my first ever in the Star Wars fandom. I'm hoping to expand on this...eventually. I've got a couple more chapters outlined, figuring out the details is the hard part. And a big thanks to savvypineapple on tumblr for helping me with the title! Kudos and comments are the honey in my tea!


End file.
